Lately I've been thinking about the stereotypes surrounding great writers (or all creative types). Ya know, that they are all crazy in one way or another? They have been cast throughout time as rebels, loners, recluses and abusers of illegal (or legal yet dangerous) substances. Not to mention that they are all depressed, broke, bitter and lonely. Accurate depiction or exaggerated? Not really sure but what I do know is that for many, many years writers have been known as being "different" from the average person; rejected from the mainstream whether by choice or by force. Everyone knows the stories of Hemingway drinking his life away on a beach in Key West or J.D. Salinger famously hiding for years in New Hampshire or Henry David Thoreau rejecting civilized society to look to the woods for meaning.
Why has this been on my mind lately? Glad you asked, well because I feel as if I can relate to feeling different and rejecting mainstream society. I attended a wedding recently and while it was beautiful, the whole time I was thinking about how I hated the rituals of weddings; the bouquet toss, the mother/son dance, the wedding cake shove in the face. All of it gives me hives. Am I wrong to feel this way? Do people want this or has society forced them into believing that they do? Again, who knows but it got me to thinking about the type of folks who choose an alternate life path from the one society dictates. I feel like one of them and I think a part of me has always been this way but lately it feels more pronounced than ever. I am becoming increasingly loathe of our society's obsession with technology and fast paced living where your paycheck, the size of your house and the model of your I phone are the things you are judged on. I don't have any of these things (except a paycheck which is measly at best) nor do I want any of these things. Society today values people who are juggling a million things at once rather than someone who is content to do one thing really well. Somehow the stereotype of writers helps to make me feel like I am not that different because most days I feel as if I am an outsider. I don't embrace nor have I ever, the "normal" route of adulthood; the one that says we must go to school, then find a real job, then get married, buy a house, have kids and then retire to Florida. While I have done some of these things, I haven't done them in quite the way society says I should and I often receive odd looks or disbelieving comments from people when I tell them I got married in my apartment or that I don't want children or that I've had close to 20 different jobs in my lifetime.
I can't believe that this one dimensional path is the one so many people really want. I can't help but wonder if the pressure to be "normal" is what drives people to do what is expected rather than to face scrutiny and judgement for choosing a different path. I guess this is why I relate to writers and other creative types. I don't have cool gadgets, I don't spend hours on Facebook detailing every miniscule occurrence in my life to my 456 "friends," and I don't feel the need to have kids and a house and a dog. My cats do just fine in our one bedroom apartment. I do believe that are some people out there that do want the life of the mainstream American - I am related to some of them and they are happy. I'm not knocking that, I'm just saying that I can't believe that everyone who is doing the things we are supposed to do really want to do them. Ever notice happy commuters? People sitting in traffic or riding the subway on the way to work always look extremely grumpy. Maybe its from being tired but more likely its because they hate their jobs. Why are people so afraid of veering off the beaten path? Didn't everyone read that Robert Frost poem in school? I know after reading that, I certainly wanted to take the road less traveled. I still do and even though my road has been very bumpy, I wouldn't change it for anything. I have had so many experiences in my life and all of them have enriched me in ways I could never imagine. Doing things differently has made me who I am. So people can judge all they want but they will never see me running down a New York street with a coffee in one hand and a blackberry in the other or pushing a baby carriage down a tree lined street texting with one of my girlfriends about our book club and who is bringing the wine. I will leave that to all of the suburban Mom's who really do want that life.
Why has this been on my mind lately? Glad you asked, well because I feel as if I can relate to feeling different and rejecting mainstream society. I attended a wedding recently and while it was beautiful, the whole time I was thinking about how I hated the rituals of weddings; the bouquet toss, the mother/son dance, the wedding cake shove in the face. All of it gives me hives. Am I wrong to feel this way? Do people want this or has society forced them into believing that they do? Again, who knows but it got me to thinking about the type of folks who choose an alternate life path from the one society dictates. I feel like one of them and I think a part of me has always been this way but lately it feels more pronounced than ever. I am becoming increasingly loathe of our society's obsession with technology and fast paced living where your paycheck, the size of your house and the model of your I phone are the things you are judged on. I don't have any of these things (except a paycheck which is measly at best) nor do I want any of these things. Society today values people who are juggling a million things at once rather than someone who is content to do one thing really well. Somehow the stereotype of writers helps to make me feel like I am not that different because most days I feel as if I am an outsider. I don't embrace nor have I ever, the "normal" route of adulthood; the one that says we must go to school, then find a real job, then get married, buy a house, have kids and then retire to Florida. While I have done some of these things, I haven't done them in quite the way society says I should and I often receive odd looks or disbelieving comments from people when I tell them I got married in my apartment or that I don't want children or that I've had close to 20 different jobs in my lifetime.
I can't believe that this one dimensional path is the one so many people really want. I can't help but wonder if the pressure to be "normal" is what drives people to do what is expected rather than to face scrutiny and judgement for choosing a different path. I guess this is why I relate to writers and other creative types. I don't have cool gadgets, I don't spend hours on Facebook detailing every miniscule occurrence in my life to my 456 "friends," and I don't feel the need to have kids and a house and a dog. My cats do just fine in our one bedroom apartment. I do believe that are some people out there that do want the life of the mainstream American - I am related to some of them and they are happy. I'm not knocking that, I'm just saying that I can't believe that everyone who is doing the things we are supposed to do really want to do them. Ever notice happy commuters? People sitting in traffic or riding the subway on the way to work always look extremely grumpy. Maybe its from being tired but more likely its because they hate their jobs. Why are people so afraid of veering off the beaten path? Didn't everyone read that Robert Frost poem in school? I know after reading that, I certainly wanted to take the road less traveled. I still do and even though my road has been very bumpy, I wouldn't change it for anything. I have had so many experiences in my life and all of them have enriched me in ways I could never imagine. Doing things differently has made me who I am. So people can judge all they want but they will never see me running down a New York street with a coffee in one hand and a blackberry in the other or pushing a baby carriage down a tree lined street texting with one of my girlfriends about our book club and who is bringing the wine. I will leave that to all of the suburban Mom's who really do want that life.
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