words, words, words

I've been trying to shift my mindset lately. So much of what I have thought and felt over the last few years has been very negative. Not surprising considering much of what I went through but now it is time to move past the negativity and grief and suffering and move into gratitude, growth and healing. I have been reading and listening to things that are helping me do this. I am reading a book called, "Three Magic Words." It was given to me by a member at my gym and it is about shifting your mind set to think more positively about your situation and how to attract abundance and joy into your life. It is very new agey and I don't really buy into all of what it is preaching but I do believe a good amount of it. I am also listening to a number of podcasts that address life's challenges and how we can face them in a way that will help us learn from our experiences and grow into better versions of ourselves. I am trying to shift away from wanting more material abundanc...

When I was 23, I moved to Los Angeles. My older sister Lorraine left for California after graduating college in the 80s and stayed out there. When I was young, I would go visit her with my parents or my Aunt Florence. Something about California seemed impossibly glamorous and other worldly when I was 11. I fell in love. It was always sunny and the ocean greeted you at every turn. I was enraptured by the palm trees and the active lifestyle. Growing up in Boston my whole life, I was used to freezing cold winters, barren landscapes and grumpy people. I mean its beautiful in the spring and summer but that doesn't last that long. California was the land of plenty and I wanted to go. I set my sights on leaving when I was in high school. I knew by the time I was 15 that I would move there eventually. I ended up staying in Boston for college mostly due to financial reasons but as soon as I graduated I was off. I ended up in Los Angeles which wasn't my first choice but my other sister w...

This weekend my in laws had another couple over for dinner who they have been good friends with for years. They are in their 60s and your typical white upper middle class couple. To be polite, my husband and I joined them. Maybe I should stop being polite. I felt preached at pretty much the entire time. Being a 40 year old woman making minimum wage, seems to be an invitation to anyone to tell me what to do with my life because clearly, I am incapable of making good decisions. I can see why they might think this but I am getting really sick of people deciding they know everything about my situation within 2 minutes of the conversation. Actually, thats being generous, most people don't even give you that much time to explain yourself before jumping in with advice. Everyone knows best these days. I love this line, "Well have you tried this....(insert any manner of insulting phrase here). " The assumption that I haven't tried everything in my power to get a decent job is ...

I have been reflecting upon happiness lately and what it means in my life. What makes me truly happy and is it even possible to achieve it? I feel like we use the word all the time to describe how we want our life to look but can't always put a concrete definition behind it. I have moments of happiness almost every day like when I am helping someone at work or doing yoga or drinking tea and reading a book and some days I feel mostly happy but I don't feel it all the time and I don't think we are meant to.  I took a horror fiction course in college and we read Stephen King's, "Pet Semetery." There is a passage in the book that has stuck with me for all of these years. I've been searching for it on the internet but I can't find it and my copy of the book is buried somewhere in a box in my in laws basement but the gist of the quote is about how happiness is very fleeting. We may have moments and even full days albeit rare where we are fully happy but mos...

One of my all time favorite shows is, "The Office." Its not only hilarious but has a lot of heart and some seriously great characters. Rainn Wilson, who played Dwight on the show was a guest on one of my favorite podcasts this week and so naturally I was excited to listen. I really didn't know anything about him as an individual and so I was pretty surprised when he started talking about spirituality and his beliefs because I related to so many things he was saying. It is rare to find an actor in Hollywood who is so open and intelligent about life's big questions. He is a member of the Bahai faith. I had never heard of it before but here is the definition from their website of what they believe:"Throughout history, God has sent to humanity a series of divine Educators- known as Manifestations of God- whose teachings have provided the basis for the advancement of civilization. These Manifestations have included Abraham, Krishna, Zoroaster, Moses, Buddha, Jesus and...

The study of numerology is a interesting one. I never looked into before but lately I’ve been delving a little deeper. I guess it all started when I was listening to a podcast about it. I don’t know if I believe in it but lately I’m not closing off any ideas so I thought I would do a little research. I also started thinking back to when my current struggles took root and it was 7 years ago. There are so many instances of 7 being a significant number in all types of cultures and religions. Haven’t we all heard the proverb that says, “Break a mirror and have 7 years of bad luck?”  In many religious cultures, 7 is a significant number. In Christian belief, God created the world and rested on the 7 th day. In sects of Hindu and Buddhist beliefs belief, there are 7 major energy systems in the body (chakras). In Islam, Muslims, on their pilgrimage to Mecca walk 7 times around the center of the sacred mosque. In Jewish wedding ceremonies, there are 7 blessings. There are 7 deadly sins, ...