words, words, words

Lately I've been obsessed with listening to podcasts. Now, those who know me know that I have a tenuous at best relationship with technology. I was one of the last people on the planet to get a cell phone and was very resistant to getting an iPhone when they came into vogue. I must admit that now that I have the iPhone, I really appreciate its capabilities. There are a lot of things I don't like and I will address those further in this post. My husband turned me onto podcasts and I love them because they are akin to old school radio programs of the 40's: The pre-tv era. Anyone who knows me knows how much that era of time appeals to me so naturally I would love modern day radio programs aka podcasts. There is even one called "serial" I'm assuming based on the idea of the serial novel popularized in England  in the 1860s with Dickens's. "The Pickwick Papers." .  I had to wade through quite a few klunkers to get to the gems but it was worth it bec...

I've been thinking about friendship lately - mainly woman to woman friendships. This is something I have struggled with in my life and not because I don't want friends or haven't had great ones but because they have been difficult to keep. As we grow, change and evolve so do our relationships and some of them are not meant to last a lifetime. I have had many friends come and go throughout my life and for a long time, I blamed myself for the inability to sustain some of these friendships. I never really had a best friend that stayed with me since childhood or a friend I called every night to discuss the minutia of my day or a group of girls that I went away on trips with every year. I never had bridesmaids and I never was someones maid of honor at their wedding. Growing up I had a close friend that lived next door to me - we played together every day in the summer and then we grew up and grew apart. In college, I had a best friend that definitely made those years a hell of...

There is a place in the White Mountains of New Hampshire that I go to when I meditate. It is a peaceful place surrounded by a serene body of water and grassy mountains. In the fall, the leaves are a burst of orange, red and gold; the air crisp and clean and the water a glassy mirror betraying the chill underneath. In the summer, the sand under my feet is hot but with a coolness underneath, the birds chirp and fly overheard and green is all around. The air is breezy yet warm and the sky is a blinding blue with just a few wispy clouds floating lazily by. In the winter,  there is ice on the water and the mountains are bare and brown with snow topping the peaks. The air is cold and I can see my breath when I breathe. It is the most quiet when it is winter and the most serene. I picture a fire crackling on the small stretch of beach beneath the gray bare trees. I warm myself by the fire as I sit calming my mind. It is a place of comfort and I know nothing can harm me here. I feel my h...

Snobby New Yorkers Today I had a conversation about Shakespeare at work. I think its a sign. I have been meditating on what I want to do next in my career. Since acknowledging that I want to move away from the fitness industry, I have been soul searching for what feels authentic to me. Whenever I have been unhappy at my jobs in the past, I always ruminate about going back to school for Literature/Writing. Its been a pipe dream of mine since I can remember and the reason it has never come to fruition is because the logical, realistic side of me convinces me it doesn't make sense. Where am I going to get the money to go to Graduate school? What exactly am I going to do with a Masters in English besides teach or struggle to become a published writer in a world where talent is overlooked for celebrity junk pamphlets? I mean come on, be realistic. The problem is my heart feels pulled towards it and always has. Am I finally at the right time to say fuck it all and take the plunge, just...

Recap of 2015  Adios 2015...oh boy what a year! On this oh so fresh 2016, I always like to reflect back on the previous year and take away the lessons it taught me. Some were extremely hard lessons and some came more easily but it was truly a year of tremendous growth for me and with growth comes the inevitable pains. I experienced many mini heartbreaks, failures big and small and overwhelming stress when some of life's necessities were taken away. I mean I don't know if one post can encapsulate everything that has happened in these past 12 months but I will give it a go. January, 2015: not much happened if I remember correctly which is the only time I will say that for the rest of this post. We celebrated 4 years of marriage with a wonderful meal at Bobby Flay Steakhouse in Atlantic City but other than that, it was pretty uneventful but wait for it..February came and my husband lost his job in very dramatic fashion. His Dr. Evil of a boss went through a major mid life crisi...