I've been a slacker lately, I know. My college English professor would be disappointed in me..."You must write everyday if you want to be a writer!" I can hear his voice in my head right now. He was one of my first inspirations and if he could see me now, he would shake his head and sigh. I don't want to disappoint him - I never did and so I am channeling his voice as I write. I used to write every day religiously. Now, it seems my job has taken over my life and finding time to do what comes so naturally to me and brings me such happiness is getting tossed by the wayside. Its sad really. I know it sounds cliche but writing frees me. When I'm not consistent, I see a difference in the way I view life. Lately I've been angry. My husband tells me this so I guess its true. I think its because I haven't made time for creativity of the mind. My job is so physical - my world is in exercising the body but in that I've neglected to exercise the mind. When I'm not working I'm so physically exhausted I just want to sleep. Something has to change because I don't feel like myself when I'm not writing. Even if no one reads it, I at least put a little bit of me out into the universe and I don't' have to feel so locked up.
I need a break from my every day life. That usually helps free me up a bit. Getting out of the everyday grind does wonders for my mental and physical health so I'm going to Boston this weekend to visit my family and friends. I have a love/hate relationship with my home city. When I left for New Jersey 2 years ago, I hated the city. To me it had cold people, cold weather, cold opportunities. I guess that can happen in the city you have spent the majority of your life in. My first year in New Jersey, I still hated it. It looked so puny and uninspiring next to Manhattan which is only a 40 minute train ride away form where I live. New York was so exciting at first: fresh and new and buzzing with opportunity. Now though, its been 2 years and I miss Boston like crazy. I guess sometimes it take stepping away from something to really appreciate it. Now when I go into Manhattan, I brace myself for the craziness that once seemed to exciting but now seems over the top. It's so big and impersonal. In comparison small, cozy Boston seems like a warm blanket. I miss being able to hop on a train and get anywhere in the city in less than an hour, I miss the public gardens which before seemed like a poor man's Central Park but now seems beautiful and quaint. I miss Fenway and the crazy, obnoxious Red Sox fans. I miss nights out with my girls where if we hated where we were, we could just walk somewhere else. (you can't really walk anywhere in New Jersey) . I miss the coast line that encompass the whole city and how if you drive an hour you can be in Cape Cod or New Hampshire.I miss Newbury street and Harvard Square and Fanuel Hall. I miss having margaritas at Border Cafe and gelato in the North End and champagne at the Ritz. I miss New Hampshire summers with my sister and parents where we lay by the pool under the most breath taking mountain scenery and breathed clean air. I miss Maine weekends with my sisters and Mom. Shopping, eating, drinking and laughing till it hurts. I miss watching Red Sox games with my Dad on a lazy summer night.I miss how the city feels like home : it holds memories that keep me reminded of how much good I have in my life. My physical home may be New Jersey but a little piece of me will always be in Boston. The rest of it is wherever my husband and I are together. I don't know if I could ever live in Boston again - there must be some reasoning behind the saying. "you can never go home again." and I believe that to some extent. I have grown more in the 2 years living away from Boston than I did in the 30+ years I lived there. I'm just happy that I no longer think of Boston and feel angry. I think of Boston and I feel happy for all the good things it represents. So when I am "home" this weekend I will enjoy every second of what my birth city has to offer and when I come to my real home, I will appreciate everything New Jersey has to offer. (I hope)
I need a break from my every day life. That usually helps free me up a bit. Getting out of the everyday grind does wonders for my mental and physical health so I'm going to Boston this weekend to visit my family and friends. I have a love/hate relationship with my home city. When I left for New Jersey 2 years ago, I hated the city. To me it had cold people, cold weather, cold opportunities. I guess that can happen in the city you have spent the majority of your life in. My first year in New Jersey, I still hated it. It looked so puny and uninspiring next to Manhattan which is only a 40 minute train ride away form where I live. New York was so exciting at first: fresh and new and buzzing with opportunity. Now though, its been 2 years and I miss Boston like crazy. I guess sometimes it take stepping away from something to really appreciate it. Now when I go into Manhattan, I brace myself for the craziness that once seemed to exciting but now seems over the top. It's so big and impersonal. In comparison small, cozy Boston seems like a warm blanket. I miss being able to hop on a train and get anywhere in the city in less than an hour, I miss the public gardens which before seemed like a poor man's Central Park but now seems beautiful and quaint. I miss Fenway and the crazy, obnoxious Red Sox fans. I miss nights out with my girls where if we hated where we were, we could just walk somewhere else. (you can't really walk anywhere in New Jersey) . I miss the coast line that encompass the whole city and how if you drive an hour you can be in Cape Cod or New Hampshire.I miss Newbury street and Harvard Square and Fanuel Hall. I miss having margaritas at Border Cafe and gelato in the North End and champagne at the Ritz. I miss New Hampshire summers with my sister and parents where we lay by the pool under the most breath taking mountain scenery and breathed clean air. I miss Maine weekends with my sisters and Mom. Shopping, eating, drinking and laughing till it hurts. I miss watching Red Sox games with my Dad on a lazy summer night.I miss how the city feels like home : it holds memories that keep me reminded of how much good I have in my life. My physical home may be New Jersey but a little piece of me will always be in Boston. The rest of it is wherever my husband and I are together. I don't know if I could ever live in Boston again - there must be some reasoning behind the saying. "you can never go home again." and I believe that to some extent. I have grown more in the 2 years living away from Boston than I did in the 30+ years I lived there. I'm just happy that I no longer think of Boston and feel angry. I think of Boston and I feel happy for all the good things it represents. So when I am "home" this weekend I will enjoy every second of what my birth city has to offer and when I come to my real home, I will appreciate everything New Jersey has to offer. (I hope)
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