“Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it.”
― Sonja Lyubomirsky, The Myths of Happiness
This quote is from a book I just finished reading called, "The Myths of Happiness." It intrigued me initially at the library because the description of the book was touching on a lot of points I often talk about here: how people follow a specific path to happiness (i.e. getting married, buying a house, having kids...) but it doesn't always make them happy. It was an interesting read. The author says that it is human nature to always crave more than we have. We think that once we found our dream job, finally meet Mr. Right, land a promotion, buy a house, etc. than we will be happy but what happens when those things do indeed happen in our lives and we find ourselves still unsettled? That is the ultimate question that drives this book. She contends that we must find ways to enjoy our everyday lives more and not focus only on the main events to keep us happy. It is seemingly obvious stuff and one that we have heard over and over, "seize the day," "live each day like it was your last," " you only live once." There are countless maxims in our vernacular that preach to this yet we still seem to be eluded by true happiness. The answer seems so simple yet why is it so hard to implement? Part of it is that every day life can be so mundane. How many days do we wake up, go to work, exercise, eat meals, watch tv and then go to bed? Countless. It is hard to interject excitement and freshness to every day routines but that is just what the author encourages in order to keep ourselves and our lives stimulating. She says to try new things, get new hobbies, have a date night with your spouse in the middle of the week to shake up an otherwise boring routine. I know that a lot of times I look forward to the weekend simply because it is a different routine from the week instead of finding ways to make my week more interesting and enjoyable. I liked her advice and really want to try to implement it in my own life. As humans we are also very adaptable which can both help and harm us. Because we are so adaptable we get used to any new situation we find ourselves in. Think about it, a new job, a a new apartment, a new relationship is so exciting at first! Then inevitably we settle in and get used to things and eventually become bored; searching for the next "thing" that will excite us. Its so true. I can attest to this myself having just moved and started a new job not too long ago. I find myself already getting used to my new routine and while I'm not bored per se, I am a little restless. The author says that this is normal and everyone goes through this which makes me feel loads better about my seeming always restless spirit. I feel not so alone now. My challenge is going to be making sure I keep my new surroundings and my new job as fresh as possible. I have to make a goal for myself to try some new things: take a new cooking class (there is a cooking school a mile down the road), go to a wine tasting, shop at the farmers market, try out one of the 5 yoga studios in my neighborhood or simply just take a walk and enjoy the gorgeous fall weather and foliage. I swear I am going to try her advice. I'm sick of always feeling like I'm missing out on things or I'm not doing enough with my life or that something will go wrong now that I have a lot of things I have wanted. Is it possible to fight against our natural human instincts that says we need more? I believe it is and I'm determined to try some of these strategies. Can't hurt right? Wish me luck.
The other book I just read was called, "The Apple Orchard" by Susan Wiggs. My new thing when I go to the library is to get one book that is educational or thought provoking and another that I can enjoy for the simple pleasure of reading a good story. This book was the pleasure choice. It was your typical romantic story: single, gorgeous skinny woman who is devoted to her job shutting out her emotions meets a handsome, lonely man who is not looking for love but falls for woman at first sight but fights his feelings til the end when there is a glorious over the top romantic proclamation and then they live happily ever after. You gagging yet? I have to say something about the heroines in these types of books. Yes I read them and yes I enjoy them but the feminist in me gets really annoyed by the archetypes. Why is the woman always afraid of love and working too much, never mind why is she is never overweight or a little homely looking? Jennifer Weiner and Helen Fielding (the author of "Bridget Jones Diary") are the only contemporary female authors I know whose protagonists are normal woman with normal bodies and normal neurotic lives. Most contemporary women authors create the exact same woman every time. I'm getting sick of it. What does it say about our society and our roles as woman when we are always portrayed as so one dimensional? We are not all career driven size 2's who don't drink too much or sleep around or date ugly men. I really wish more female authors would make her characters a little fat, a little crazy, who occasionally (or a lot) overindulge in dessert or wine or shady men. Do we not want this because we want a reprieve from ourselves? Do we want to read about women we have nothing in common with so we don't have to make too many comparisons to our own lives? Maybe its the adult version of fairy tales. When we were little girls, we read about sleeping beauty and snow white and now we are reading about the grown up versions of these princesses? There is something that feels wrong about this. I mean the joke is on me obviously because I'm reading these books but can't we wish for a little more substance to a romantic story? Can't the girl get wasted on martini's every once in a while or take a walk of shame from a one night stand? No because that would make the woman not likable enough. We don't want to read about mistakes, we want to read about good girls and not have to feel ashamed of our own questionable choices. I feel like we should all get our happy endings despite our misdeeds or moral wanderings. We are only human! Even the not so good girls deserve a break. I know I am being entirely unrealistic in wanting more dimensional female characters. I can get that in more serious fiction rather than romantic fiction but still a gal can wish. Maybe it just means I need a break from this kind of book. I'm off to the library tomorrow. Maybe I will look a little deeper.
In other news, I just heard that they the movie version of "The Book Thief" comes out on Friday. I read and wrote about this book a while back. To refresh your memory: it is the most depressing book you will ever read so if you aren't feeling like you may want to end your life this weekend, STAY AWAY! That is all....
― Sonja Lyubomirsky, The Myths of Happiness
This quote is from a book I just finished reading called, "The Myths of Happiness." It intrigued me initially at the library because the description of the book was touching on a lot of points I often talk about here: how people follow a specific path to happiness (i.e. getting married, buying a house, having kids...) but it doesn't always make them happy. It was an interesting read. The author says that it is human nature to always crave more than we have. We think that once we found our dream job, finally meet Mr. Right, land a promotion, buy a house, etc. than we will be happy but what happens when those things do indeed happen in our lives and we find ourselves still unsettled? That is the ultimate question that drives this book. She contends that we must find ways to enjoy our everyday lives more and not focus only on the main events to keep us happy. It is seemingly obvious stuff and one that we have heard over and over, "seize the day," "live each day like it was your last," " you only live once." There are countless maxims in our vernacular that preach to this yet we still seem to be eluded by true happiness. The answer seems so simple yet why is it so hard to implement? Part of it is that every day life can be so mundane. How many days do we wake up, go to work, exercise, eat meals, watch tv and then go to bed? Countless. It is hard to interject excitement and freshness to every day routines but that is just what the author encourages in order to keep ourselves and our lives stimulating. She says to try new things, get new hobbies, have a date night with your spouse in the middle of the week to shake up an otherwise boring routine. I know that a lot of times I look forward to the weekend simply because it is a different routine from the week instead of finding ways to make my week more interesting and enjoyable. I liked her advice and really want to try to implement it in my own life. As humans we are also very adaptable which can both help and harm us. Because we are so adaptable we get used to any new situation we find ourselves in. Think about it, a new job, a a new apartment, a new relationship is so exciting at first! Then inevitably we settle in and get used to things and eventually become bored; searching for the next "thing" that will excite us. Its so true. I can attest to this myself having just moved and started a new job not too long ago. I find myself already getting used to my new routine and while I'm not bored per se, I am a little restless. The author says that this is normal and everyone goes through this which makes me feel loads better about my seeming always restless spirit. I feel not so alone now. My challenge is going to be making sure I keep my new surroundings and my new job as fresh as possible. I have to make a goal for myself to try some new things: take a new cooking class (there is a cooking school a mile down the road), go to a wine tasting, shop at the farmers market, try out one of the 5 yoga studios in my neighborhood or simply just take a walk and enjoy the gorgeous fall weather and foliage. I swear I am going to try her advice. I'm sick of always feeling like I'm missing out on things or I'm not doing enough with my life or that something will go wrong now that I have a lot of things I have wanted. Is it possible to fight against our natural human instincts that says we need more? I believe it is and I'm determined to try some of these strategies. Can't hurt right? Wish me luck.
The other book I just read was called, "The Apple Orchard" by Susan Wiggs. My new thing when I go to the library is to get one book that is educational or thought provoking and another that I can enjoy for the simple pleasure of reading a good story. This book was the pleasure choice. It was your typical romantic story: single, gorgeous skinny woman who is devoted to her job shutting out her emotions meets a handsome, lonely man who is not looking for love but falls for woman at first sight but fights his feelings til the end when there is a glorious over the top romantic proclamation and then they live happily ever after. You gagging yet? I have to say something about the heroines in these types of books. Yes I read them and yes I enjoy them but the feminist in me gets really annoyed by the archetypes. Why is the woman always afraid of love and working too much, never mind why is she is never overweight or a little homely looking? Jennifer Weiner and Helen Fielding (the author of "Bridget Jones Diary") are the only contemporary female authors I know whose protagonists are normal woman with normal bodies and normal neurotic lives. Most contemporary women authors create the exact same woman every time. I'm getting sick of it. What does it say about our society and our roles as woman when we are always portrayed as so one dimensional? We are not all career driven size 2's who don't drink too much or sleep around or date ugly men. I really wish more female authors would make her characters a little fat, a little crazy, who occasionally (or a lot) overindulge in dessert or wine or shady men. Do we not want this because we want a reprieve from ourselves? Do we want to read about women we have nothing in common with so we don't have to make too many comparisons to our own lives? Maybe its the adult version of fairy tales. When we were little girls, we read about sleeping beauty and snow white and now we are reading about the grown up versions of these princesses? There is something that feels wrong about this. I mean the joke is on me obviously because I'm reading these books but can't we wish for a little more substance to a romantic story? Can't the girl get wasted on martini's every once in a while or take a walk of shame from a one night stand? No because that would make the woman not likable enough. We don't want to read about mistakes, we want to read about good girls and not have to feel ashamed of our own questionable choices. I feel like we should all get our happy endings despite our misdeeds or moral wanderings. We are only human! Even the not so good girls deserve a break. I know I am being entirely unrealistic in wanting more dimensional female characters. I can get that in more serious fiction rather than romantic fiction but still a gal can wish. Maybe it just means I need a break from this kind of book. I'm off to the library tomorrow. Maybe I will look a little deeper.
In other news, I just heard that they the movie version of "The Book Thief" comes out on Friday. I read and wrote about this book a while back. To refresh your memory: it is the most depressing book you will ever read so if you aren't feeling like you may want to end your life this weekend, STAY AWAY! That is all....
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