“High school wasn't a trial by fire or some ordeal that had to be
survived. It was all a big joke. You just had to provide the laugh
track.”
― Scott Westerfeld, Midnighters Manga #1
This quote perfectly summarizes my journey through high school 24 short years ago. 24 years? Has it really been that long since I stepped foot in the door of Fontbonne Academy for girls in Milton, MA? Wow, I feel like an old lady! Why am I musing on my high school years you may ask? Well, recently I read a book ("Allegiant" - this book was so painful I would almost had rather watched a "Keeping up with a Kardashians" marathon - almsot) and watched a movie ("The Perks of Being a Wallflower" - which is also a book and very good) all about what its like to be a teenager and it got me remembering my own experience through those tumultuous years. I was one of those unusual kids who absolutely loved high school. The main reason being is that I met the right friends. I am hard pressed to say one can survive high school unscathed without that. I met 3 amazing girls pretty much right away and every memory I have of my teenage years includes them. We made high school our playground - sure we studied really hard and made good, even great grades (3 out of the 4 of us ranked top 10 in our graduating class - yes I was one of them) but we had fun while doing it. I don't remember a time we weren't laughing at something or causing some sort of ruckus. I was often the ringleader and as such, took the fall when we got in trouble. I guess I was the girls prep school version of a class clown which is to say that I didn't fit the typical mold of what a class clown usually is - someone trying to mask their lack of knowledge and intelligence by being goofy. I knew I was smart and my teachers always tried to catch me not paying attention but they were always foiled when I knew the answers (except for in chemistry and algebra - classes but I didn't dare goof off there since my energy was best spent hating every second of what was being taught.) My parents would go to parent/teacher conferences and hear the same speech from all of my teachers: "She is very gifted and very smart but she needs to stop goofing around and talking in class." My conduct marks were always poor but I just couldn't help it: there was too much to laugh about whether it was the fat girl sneaking gummy bears during History or the English teacher who was always losing things or the crazy girl who ran through the hallways during class. My mother credits it to my undiagnosed ADD but I just think I liked to have a good time and make my friends laugh. What I loved most though was the sense of freedom I felt during these years. Yes I knew that I would have to make a choice about college, yes I knew that I needed to have good grades and study hard but I didn't have some of the insecurities a lot of kids do in high school or that I even do now. I didn't care about being popular, I didn't care about being in the cool girls clique. I credit that partly or mostly to going to an all girls school - no boys around to impress makes a world of difference in the social game that is high school. I loved that I didn't have to worry about how my hair always looked greasy or what clothing trends were cool (it certainly wasn't maroon plaid and penny loafers) or what boy I liked that wouldn't like me back. I honestly did not care what anyone thought of me because I had friends who loved me and thought I was awesome and that is all that mattered then. I wish I could be more like I was then. I didn't get so bothered and stressed about silly things. I'm sure that somewhere tucked in the back of my brain are less than perfect memories of those years but why try to resurrect those? Our past memories lie in our choosing the experiences we want to remember and filing away those we don't. I had a teacher who taught us that life is always about the journey, not the destination and what matters most is the memories we make not the trials we endured. I hear her echo in my brain from time to time and try to remember those wise words. She also introduced us to the movie, "Dead Poets Society" which had come out right around the time I entered high school. I remember she brought it up in Theology class by using Robin Williams as an example of a modern day prophet. I connected deeply with that movie and so did my friends. We felt like the experience in the movie mirrored our own high school experience...our teacher was a lot like the Robin Williams character: charismatic, controversial and inspiring and we were like the boys: hungry for adventure, and wanting to break the rules. We used the message (Carpe Diem) as our mantra and boy did we really live it. We used to think about the future a lot then and imagine how we would be adults and still feel the uninhibited freedom of expression and self we felt then. I know that I am not the girl I was or even imagined I would be then but my goal is to get closer. I do get a little closer every day even if it means going backwards to remembering and admiring my 14 year old self. Often I feel like I was wiser then than I am now. Funny. When after 2 years, this teacher made the choice to leave and pursue other opportunities, she wrote each of us a note and the words were eerily similar to the words John Keating (aka Robin Williams) speaks to his students at the beginning of "Dead Poets Society" as he is showing them old pictures of past students in the hallway of the school. He says,
"They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
I still have the note Ms. Blier gave me that reads something like that quote and I pull it out from time to time and try my best to live the words. I hope she would be proud of me and I hope that I can feel that at the end of my life, I have made it extraordinary.
― Scott Westerfeld, Midnighters Manga #1
This quote perfectly summarizes my journey through high school 24 short years ago. 24 years? Has it really been that long since I stepped foot in the door of Fontbonne Academy for girls in Milton, MA? Wow, I feel like an old lady! Why am I musing on my high school years you may ask? Well, recently I read a book ("Allegiant" - this book was so painful I would almost had rather watched a "Keeping up with a Kardashians" marathon - almsot) and watched a movie ("The Perks of Being a Wallflower" - which is also a book and very good) all about what its like to be a teenager and it got me remembering my own experience through those tumultuous years. I was one of those unusual kids who absolutely loved high school. The main reason being is that I met the right friends. I am hard pressed to say one can survive high school unscathed without that. I met 3 amazing girls pretty much right away and every memory I have of my teenage years includes them. We made high school our playground - sure we studied really hard and made good, even great grades (3 out of the 4 of us ranked top 10 in our graduating class - yes I was one of them) but we had fun while doing it. I don't remember a time we weren't laughing at something or causing some sort of ruckus. I was often the ringleader and as such, took the fall when we got in trouble. I guess I was the girls prep school version of a class clown which is to say that I didn't fit the typical mold of what a class clown usually is - someone trying to mask their lack of knowledge and intelligence by being goofy. I knew I was smart and my teachers always tried to catch me not paying attention but they were always foiled when I knew the answers (except for in chemistry and algebra - classes but I didn't dare goof off there since my energy was best spent hating every second of what was being taught.) My parents would go to parent/teacher conferences and hear the same speech from all of my teachers: "She is very gifted and very smart but she needs to stop goofing around and talking in class." My conduct marks were always poor but I just couldn't help it: there was too much to laugh about whether it was the fat girl sneaking gummy bears during History or the English teacher who was always losing things or the crazy girl who ran through the hallways during class. My mother credits it to my undiagnosed ADD but I just think I liked to have a good time and make my friends laugh. What I loved most though was the sense of freedom I felt during these years. Yes I knew that I would have to make a choice about college, yes I knew that I needed to have good grades and study hard but I didn't have some of the insecurities a lot of kids do in high school or that I even do now. I didn't care about being popular, I didn't care about being in the cool girls clique. I credit that partly or mostly to going to an all girls school - no boys around to impress makes a world of difference in the social game that is high school. I loved that I didn't have to worry about how my hair always looked greasy or what clothing trends were cool (it certainly wasn't maroon plaid and penny loafers) or what boy I liked that wouldn't like me back. I honestly did not care what anyone thought of me because I had friends who loved me and thought I was awesome and that is all that mattered then. I wish I could be more like I was then. I didn't get so bothered and stressed about silly things. I'm sure that somewhere tucked in the back of my brain are less than perfect memories of those years but why try to resurrect those? Our past memories lie in our choosing the experiences we want to remember and filing away those we don't. I had a teacher who taught us that life is always about the journey, not the destination and what matters most is the memories we make not the trials we endured. I hear her echo in my brain from time to time and try to remember those wise words. She also introduced us to the movie, "Dead Poets Society" which had come out right around the time I entered high school. I remember she brought it up in Theology class by using Robin Williams as an example of a modern day prophet. I connected deeply with that movie and so did my friends. We felt like the experience in the movie mirrored our own high school experience...our teacher was a lot like the Robin Williams character: charismatic, controversial and inspiring and we were like the boys: hungry for adventure, and wanting to break the rules. We used the message (Carpe Diem) as our mantra and boy did we really live it. We used to think about the future a lot then and imagine how we would be adults and still feel the uninhibited freedom of expression and self we felt then. I know that I am not the girl I was or even imagined I would be then but my goal is to get closer. I do get a little closer every day even if it means going backwards to remembering and admiring my 14 year old self. Often I feel like I was wiser then than I am now. Funny. When after 2 years, this teacher made the choice to leave and pursue other opportunities, she wrote each of us a note and the words were eerily similar to the words John Keating (aka Robin Williams) speaks to his students at the beginning of "Dead Poets Society" as he is showing them old pictures of past students in the hallway of the school. He says,
"They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
I still have the note Ms. Blier gave me that reads something like that quote and I pull it out from time to time and try my best to live the words. I hope she would be proud of me and I hope that I can feel that at the end of my life, I have made it extraordinary.
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