It's official. I'm on the job hunt again. But didn't you just find a job not that long ago you ask? Why yes, I say I've been at this job for a tad over a year. Why are you looking to leave? You ask curiously. It has gone to hell, I answer with disgust. You may think I'm exaggerating because I have a penchant for doing that, but really I'm not. I offer proof: all of the full time employees got a pay cut and the part time people got hours cut. If that wasn't enough, it is empty every night. Most nights lately I stand around looking dumb. Also, I had a little issue with another employee. I won't get into that but lets just say that I've never been one to take any shit no matter who you are. Today I sat at home for the third day in a row because I got a call to stay home from work. I tried to fight it but to no avail. I guess I just have to face facts: its back to square one. Well not really. This job did give me the necessary experience to find what I'm really looking for so that is a plus. And I'm not leaving unless they fire me or I actually punch the unnamed employee that has been messing with me. I need the money no matter how miniscule the amount in my check is every two weeks. I'm frustrated and nervous that this is happening but I'm trying to keep my wits about me. The last thing I need is a meltdown.
What is getting me through the uncertainty is of course my books. I'm reading a good one finally! Its called, "Last Night in Twisted River," by John Irving, one of my favorite authors. I have read almost all of his novels and loved almost all of them. He is such an amazing story teller; he is weird and unnerving at times but always interesting and different. This story at its heart is about fathers and sons. Something I can't really relate to but I can relate to stories that involve family and the complicated feelings that accompany being a part of one. The main character is a single parent living as a cook in a New Hampshire logging town in the 1950s. He is a melancholy man due to losing his wife at a young age. His sole purpose in life is to protect and care for his son. When the son accidentally kills the father's girlfriend they go on the run. Surrounding the novel, is the constant fear of getting caught. I can't imagine living like that - always in fear of losing every thing you have. I guess though, on a much smaller scale, life is like that. I mean just look at me right now: living in fear of losing my job. There are always things we fear especially when we have something to lose. For the father in this story, it is his son; the most valuable thing to him. For others it could be losing their house or their car or watching a son or daughter go away to college or going through a break up. Life is about small deaths occurring around us all the time. I've experienced my share in the last 5 years. I experienced the loss of money, of moving away from family and friends and the loss of comfort. Now, I've adjusted but maybe new losses happen all the time but with them new gains as well. Sometimes the gains take longer to come but they do eventually. By going through what I did I lost a lot but I gained more and it made it all worth it. I don't know if the book will end on that note but I'm curious to find out.
What is getting me through the uncertainty is of course my books. I'm reading a good one finally! Its called, "Last Night in Twisted River," by John Irving, one of my favorite authors. I have read almost all of his novels and loved almost all of them. He is such an amazing story teller; he is weird and unnerving at times but always interesting and different. This story at its heart is about fathers and sons. Something I can't really relate to but I can relate to stories that involve family and the complicated feelings that accompany being a part of one. The main character is a single parent living as a cook in a New Hampshire logging town in the 1950s. He is a melancholy man due to losing his wife at a young age. His sole purpose in life is to protect and care for his son. When the son accidentally kills the father's girlfriend they go on the run. Surrounding the novel, is the constant fear of getting caught. I can't imagine living like that - always in fear of losing every thing you have. I guess though, on a much smaller scale, life is like that. I mean just look at me right now: living in fear of losing my job. There are always things we fear especially when we have something to lose. For the father in this story, it is his son; the most valuable thing to him. For others it could be losing their house or their car or watching a son or daughter go away to college or going through a break up. Life is about small deaths occurring around us all the time. I've experienced my share in the last 5 years. I experienced the loss of money, of moving away from family and friends and the loss of comfort. Now, I've adjusted but maybe new losses happen all the time but with them new gains as well. Sometimes the gains take longer to come but they do eventually. By going through what I did I lost a lot but I gained more and it made it all worth it. I don't know if the book will end on that note but I'm curious to find out.
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