I turn 41 today. It has been a year full of reflection, growth and change. Last year at this time, so much was in flux. I was living in New Jersey, working full time as a fitness manager, going through my husbands unemployment trial, researching new places to live and having no idea where life was moving me. Since that time, life has stabilized. There is still so much in flux but there is equally as much that is secure. I am no longer wondering about where we will live in 3 months, I am not searching for a new job, I am not worrying and stressing about every inane detail of my life and most importantly, I am content. I know that life will always have its challenges and unexpected turns but I am learning (and it is a process) of accepting life as is and not wishing I was somewhere else. It doesn't mean I don't want certain things like my own place to live and more financial security but I am happy with what life brings moment to moment. I am not always planning ahead anymore and that has made me a more calm and joyful person.
This year I will look back on it as the year I discovered my higher self. I took the first steps on my way to discovering my spirituality. I dedicated myself to yoga, meditation and deep introspection. I have shifted so many ways I used to think about things. I am more open to possibilities; more open to my true path. I am not climbing any corporate ladders and I am not stressing about work. I go to my job and then I go about my life. This is a huge shift for me. Most of my life I have let my job dictate the rest of my life whether it be in worrying constantly about it or trying to think of ways to improve it or wishing I had a different one. My focus this year has shifted into making my LIFE and not my work more meaningful. I no longer worry about money the way I used to. I know that it is not the most important thing. I still am broke but I don't stress it anymore. Regular meditation has helped me connect more deeply with the world around me. I feel more empathy towards others and more compassion for all beings including plants and animals. I have less tolerance for the material world.
I have made some new friends and formed new relationships that have enriched my life. I am learning not to bring too many expectations into new relationships, rather I am just letting things unfold naturally. I am well liked and respected in my job yet there is enough of a separation between my life and my job that I feel balanced. I pursue the projects at work that I feel strongly about and let go of the things I don't. Previously, I was always trying to move ahead in my jobs, but now I am content to stay where I am and focus on what matters most to ME, not to the company and that feels like major progress.
My health has never been better and I feel and look better at 41 than I did at 31. Keeping myself healthy and fit is a top priority for me. I also have started doing only what is right for MY body. Before this year, I was exercising in ways that I didn't necessarily enjoy but which I thought I HAD to do to stay in shape. No longer. Yoga is the dominant physical activity in my life and I feel better than I ever have just focusing on that. I take long walks and I do yoga 6 days a week. I still do occasional weight training and hard cardio but only when it feels right. I had a fear that if I stopped lifting weights or stopped burning it up on the treadmill that I would immediately get fat. I proved myself wrong and that feels good. I have finally mastered crow pose in yoga and I couldn't do that when I was lifting heavy weights so clearly what I am doing is working!
This year I stopped watching so much TV and switched to more books (meaning I read 3 a week now instead of 2...I am ridiculous!) and listening to podcasts. I don't miss TV at all. Its funny how when something becomes less available, we adjust to not having it. I still watch a few shows but I have cut my TV viewing at least in half. Some days instead of going straight home after work, I go have a drink with a friend or I go to Central Park and just sit. That is the beauty about living in NYC - there is never a shortage of things to do. This weekend, we are going out to dinner to celebrate and having a hard time deciding where to go because there are just so many options. The last few places we have lived, there are maybe 2-3 restaurants we would rotate between and now there are too many too count. Its been fun to have all of these new places to try and new experiences to have. I feel more at home in NYC than I have anywhere else I have lived except Boston. The city suits me and so because I am more comfortable here, I am able to be more true to myself. I am not trying to project an image or fit in. I don't have to because NYC is full of all kinds.
I hope 41 brings more of the same for me: more growth, more change, more joy. Even though I know I will have more challenges, I have more confidence in myself to handle whatever comes. The one thing I now for sure is that life is messy but it is also beautiful. I hope to continue to do things that are in line with my true self. I WILL go to Costa Rica and build a house and I WILL apply to go on Survivor :)
This year I will look back on it as the year I discovered my higher self. I took the first steps on my way to discovering my spirituality. I dedicated myself to yoga, meditation and deep introspection. I have shifted so many ways I used to think about things. I am more open to possibilities; more open to my true path. I am not climbing any corporate ladders and I am not stressing about work. I go to my job and then I go about my life. This is a huge shift for me. Most of my life I have let my job dictate the rest of my life whether it be in worrying constantly about it or trying to think of ways to improve it or wishing I had a different one. My focus this year has shifted into making my LIFE and not my work more meaningful. I no longer worry about money the way I used to. I know that it is not the most important thing. I still am broke but I don't stress it anymore. Regular meditation has helped me connect more deeply with the world around me. I feel more empathy towards others and more compassion for all beings including plants and animals. I have less tolerance for the material world.
I have made some new friends and formed new relationships that have enriched my life. I am learning not to bring too many expectations into new relationships, rather I am just letting things unfold naturally. I am well liked and respected in my job yet there is enough of a separation between my life and my job that I feel balanced. I pursue the projects at work that I feel strongly about and let go of the things I don't. Previously, I was always trying to move ahead in my jobs, but now I am content to stay where I am and focus on what matters most to ME, not to the company and that feels like major progress.
My health has never been better and I feel and look better at 41 than I did at 31. Keeping myself healthy and fit is a top priority for me. I also have started doing only what is right for MY body. Before this year, I was exercising in ways that I didn't necessarily enjoy but which I thought I HAD to do to stay in shape. No longer. Yoga is the dominant physical activity in my life and I feel better than I ever have just focusing on that. I take long walks and I do yoga 6 days a week. I still do occasional weight training and hard cardio but only when it feels right. I had a fear that if I stopped lifting weights or stopped burning it up on the treadmill that I would immediately get fat. I proved myself wrong and that feels good. I have finally mastered crow pose in yoga and I couldn't do that when I was lifting heavy weights so clearly what I am doing is working!
This year I stopped watching so much TV and switched to more books (meaning I read 3 a week now instead of 2...I am ridiculous!) and listening to podcasts. I don't miss TV at all. Its funny how when something becomes less available, we adjust to not having it. I still watch a few shows but I have cut my TV viewing at least in half. Some days instead of going straight home after work, I go have a drink with a friend or I go to Central Park and just sit. That is the beauty about living in NYC - there is never a shortage of things to do. This weekend, we are going out to dinner to celebrate and having a hard time deciding where to go because there are just so many options. The last few places we have lived, there are maybe 2-3 restaurants we would rotate between and now there are too many too count. Its been fun to have all of these new places to try and new experiences to have. I feel more at home in NYC than I have anywhere else I have lived except Boston. The city suits me and so because I am more comfortable here, I am able to be more true to myself. I am not trying to project an image or fit in. I don't have to because NYC is full of all kinds.
I hope 41 brings more of the same for me: more growth, more change, more joy. Even though I know I will have more challenges, I have more confidence in myself to handle whatever comes. The one thing I now for sure is that life is messy but it is also beautiful. I hope to continue to do things that are in line with my true self. I WILL go to Costa Rica and build a house and I WILL apply to go on Survivor :)
Comments
Post a Comment