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The Joy Luck Club

Thanksgiving has come and gone and with it a couple of extra pounds but lots of quality time with loved ones. I ate too much stuffing to account for and drank at least a glass of wine every day for a week which is something I just don't do anymore because my body rejects it violently. Gone are the days where I could drink a bottle of wine myself and get up to go to work the next day no worse for the wear. Just the thought of doing that now makes me nauseous.  Good thing there is a bit of down time before the next gorge fest: the all consuming Christmas season. I'm not going to be stressed this year - I'm going to eat, drink and be merry if it kills me.

So I finally read a good book, "The Joy Luck Club." My sister Anne gave it to me and while I've obviously heard of it, I just never got around to reading it. It is the interwoven stories of several Chinese mothers and daughters spanning generations. It is about a mother's love for her children and the sacrifices made to protect them. It is about a child's often conflicting feelings for her mother over the years: love, shame, confusion and ultimately loyalty. The mothers stories are heartbreaking and compelling - one mother poisoning herself because she is one of 4 wives who hates her husband, another leaving her children on the side of the road in China because she couldn't feed them, and still another marrying an American soldier just to escape her life of solitude being ostracized from her family. All of these women have hidden these stories from their daughters for various reasons, mostly due to shame and embarrassment. I could relate to this book because in the search to learn about my ancestors, I have discovered similar stories of sacrifice and love. My grandmother Annella worked over night cleaning office buildings because her husband drank away all of their money and she needed to feed her children. My other grandmother Bessie was so honest and decent that when my father stole food to feed the starving family, she made him return it. My own mother raised 8 children essentially alone while my father worked to support us. She lost a son and her own mother in the same year and never showed us her grief. My parents sacrificed luxury so we could have a good education. Of course, like the daughters in the "Joy Luck Club," I wasn't aware of all of this and even if I was, I wouldn't have appreciated it. Now as an adult, I marvel and what my parents and grandparents did so that I could have a good education and live comfortably. Lately, I have been appreciating everything I have just a bit more.My parents had no heat in the winter when they were young and food was often scarce especially during the war when they had to ration. Food and heat are things I don't even think about ever going without yet it was a luxury to them. Learning all of this has certainly made me more appreciative and grateful for the small comforts I have always had.  I am also grateful for having finally read a book I could thoroughly enjoy and reflect upon. I always know a book has done its job if it helps me relate to something in my own life and this one did it beautifully

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